As I sit in my hotel room in downtown Portland thinking back on the past few days, I find myself attempting to sum up the experiences I’ve had. There’s so much to do here that I didn’t get to try and the torrential downpour on my first full day here surely didn’t help things.
I was here for DjangoCon (a conference related to my day-job) but that was only part of my excitement. The other part of my excitement was two-fold: 1) I know Portlander’s take their food very seriously. Its practically a sport in this town. 2) A high school friend whom I hadn’t seen in 18 years lives here and promised to take me out for a “locals” version of Portland.
My first day was pretty much just trying to keep dry and I didn’t venture to far from the hotel. I can however recommend that you NEVER order the crab-cakes from the Double Tree hotel’s in-house restaurant as they were — for me — a let down of monumental proportions. They tasted like shit and there was lots of it. Dry, not too flavorful, and the sauce was very tart and tasted quite a bit “mustardy.” Perhaps this was partly my fault as I’d been craving crab for well over a month and my expectation may have been a bit to high. Either way, I didn’t finish them. The sides of rice and veggies were on par with something you’d find at a cheap “family cookin’” establishment, and the clam chowder was completely without flavor. (I had to add quite a bit tabasco to make it interesting.
Day 2 found me extremely hungry and I set off to find the original Voodoo Donut. With just a minor issue with the transit system confusing me mid-stream, my 10 minute train ride, 2 block trek to Voodoo Donuts resulted in my getting my hands on the famous Maple Bacon Bar. Sweet Maple frosting on a sweet donut-like bar, topped with two slices of thick-sliced bacon. The stuff breakfast dreams are made of. The frosting was awfully sweet, but it worked for me. It was after all only a donut so I’m not sure it lived up to the hype but I was so happy that I’d finally experienced something that was really Portland.
The famous Maple Bacon Bar from Voodoo Donuts
Lunch found me trekking a few block north of my hotel in search of a Thai restaurant that had apparently closed down since the reviews I’d read about it online we written. Across the street from where this place was supposed to be was a Chinese restaurant that I wound up eating at. Once again, i was pretty much let down. The portions were huge, the price was right, but they messed up my order twice (along with the other two people in my immediate area). Again, major let down.
Salvation would soon find me in the form of an hold high school friend and 10+year resident of Portland who’d promised to show me what the local Portland dining experience is like. It was then that I discovered just how “cool” Portland is. Our meal was made up of a few courses, but each course was from a different restaurant. We started out at a local Indian place, but not at all like the Indian restaurants I’m accustomed to in Madison. This place felt clean, upscale, and very modern. The specialty drinks were out of this world and the Chicken Marsala hot wings and some chip and dip appetizer were delicious. The atmosphere was very conducive to people wanting to chat about old times and bring each other up to speed on life events of the past 18 years.
From there, a walk around the block, chatting, walking off the appetizers and cocktails, and a brief lesson on how to identify “hipsters” in the wild, we arrive at Sushi Mazi for the main course. To be honest I’m not even sure what we ordered but it was good. I was relieved to find that really it wasn’t any better than what I can find at Takumi or Takara in my land-locked hometown of Madison, WI. (However the eel avocado roll was indeed superior). On top of that, I now have a really cool Saki bottle coming home with me as a souvenir. And I learned that I prefer my Sake a bit warmer, but this was delicious! Even though it was on ice.
My Sake Bottle
From there, more catching up and gossiping about the old days, and a trek to Dots, a very local, “kitchy” bar with velvet paintings and walls. There I had a local beer called a Dead Man, and man it was deadly good.
My guide didn’t feel that this was quite local “enough” and wanted to show me some of those trust fund children, the flannel and skinny pant wearing hipsters. Apparently looking like you have no money whatsoever is the “in thing” out here, quite the opposite of back home. At the Reel M Inn, you got the sense that you were finally hanging out with the locals. Your typical very old, very drunk old men in the corner, hipsters gathered around the pool table, and video poker everywhere. (Suddenly I found myself in Northern Michigan?!?!) It was at this bar that a local, based solely on my mid-western accent alone placed me directly as a Wisconsin native. Dead. Balls. On. I still don’t hear it….
The fried chick here is apparently to die for but by this time I’d already had too much to drink, and wasn’t about to add to the potential queue of things that could have very easily found their way coming back up. My night was at last done. My local Portland experience was the highlight of my trip — and of course the catching up with an old friend helped I’m sure.
My third day, bouncing between feeling fine, then drunk then hungover (lather, rinse, repeat ad nauseum). I skipped lunch to catch up on some sleep and hopefully dump the hangover. Thankfully my conference hosts had served up some fresh fruit later. But dinner, it was suggested I try a local fast food chain known as Burgerville. Nothing but incredible. With a very environmentally green feel to it with its fully recyclable food wrappers, and locally raised beef (as well as other foods), a cheap fast food burger was the last thing I’d expected to find. But find it I did and it was delicious. Your standard double cheeseburger but accompanied by Sweet Potato french fries and a chocolate cherry milkshake. Fast food fare at its finest. I was full, and afraid I was still a bit to hungover to finish everything. Madison needs one of these places. As far a green goes, we Madisonians like to believe we are progressive — we’ve got NOTHING on Portland.
Burgerville. Stomach Happy!
It was also at Burgerville where I successfully recognized (on my own without any help) my first set up hipsters. There seems to almost be an us versus them type attitude in Madison towards the hipsters…I think I can see why in the little time I’ve been here…I mean skinny pants and flannel? C’mon –
Hipsters...Seriously....
Overall, I totally dig Portland. I don’t think I’d survive the driving and I think the things that drive me crazy about Madison would be multiplied by 5 here in Portland, but there’s enough cool here, that I think it’d balance.
I very much would like to return, perhaps not so alone next time and explore more of the city…I’d like to be able to spend a day just exploring, but alas, my time in Portland has come to an end.
Good food, great friends, and Hipster watching…what more could one ask for.
